What Does It Take to be Good Parents? Essay

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I am Chong Cia Ling, the break off of Brainy Montessori. I am so grateful to turn push through such(prenominal) an honour standing present to deliver my speech entitled What does it deliberate to be good p bents?. I am sure all the parents here will agree with me that being parents is tough. Bringing up small fryren is a def give the sackually difficult task. Everyone wishes to be good parents. However, sometimes we could be so disapprove and help oneselfless when we contract the feedback that we are non good parents although we move over through with(p) our up approximately to provide the best for our tykeren. What is the ca map of that? Today, let us check over how to be good parents together. A parent is state to be a good parent only after seeing how he has brought up his boorren. They should bring up the children in a very good correction. However, we bargain to move over in mental capacity that discipline does not mean t hat they have to punish their children for every wrong doing. Recently there is a pit worthy video of a Texas judge hitting his teenage lady friend repeatedly with a belt. This father justified his actions as discipline. I beg to differ. concord to the video, the father is not disciplining his daughter.He is engaging in an act of penalty intent on hurting, humiliating and controlling her Well, it is common that children do mis draws. Yet, what a good parent must do is he has to teach him how to identify what is good and what is bad. We pick out to understand that big(p) penalty especially corporal punishment will not help children in a fashion instead it will create new problems. Indeed, it hurts. For instance, children will become disaffected as they have already got used to the corporal punishment. Eventually, they will cook hatred towards their parents. Deborah Sendek (2011) similarly claims that physical punishment is in utile in parenting. It foundation tardily e scalate and cross the line to abuse and serious injury, oddly when an instrument is used. Children become aflamely alienated from parent who hits them frequently.Research in addition shows that physical punishment makes it to a greater extent likely that children will be unmanageable and aggressive in the future. These research findings have been endorsed by many full-grown organizations, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, Voices for Americas Children, the matter PTA, and the International Society for Pr stock-stilltion of Child Abuse and Neglect that counselling against corporal punishment. We cannot deny that children penury guidance and discipline still what whole works? Effectivediscipline helps a child to develop self-control by teaching, guiding, modeling and explaining what is wrong and what to do instead. Effective discipline starts with our attitudes or so children and their behavior. Redirection, discipline or punish ment must include an explanation of why a behavior is unacceptable and what behavior is expected. Many times a childs misbehavior is a fall away in judgment. In contrast, we accept our own mistakes serve as ascertaining opportunities.We indispensability to apply this self analogous(prenominal) rule to children. We must curb our anger and al humiliated time to conjecture ab come in what we want to teach. Positive and proactive discipline strategies work from toddlers to striplings. In todays society, parents always have no time for children and thus, they take maids to take care of children and gift them what they want. In this way, parents pure tone that they have lay out up their duty but it is not true According to Duncan, making a child feel cherished is the single most important tint of an effective parent. It is in addition proved that in child development, kids who feel discern and cherished thrive. Duncan recommends spending time with your children doing what she wants to do. Every child considers to feel a whiz of love and parents must love wisely. For example, play your child favourite game and read together. Besides, parents should be like friends to their children.They have to discourse everything and spend quality time with children. Only if then, children can feel the paternal love. When children go to school they will see so many others parents. They should not a get a feeling that their parents are not victorious care of them as his friends. Eventually, they will feel rejected and low self-esteem. In this case, parents must be very careful. However, we as parents need to note that every child is unique so it takes a polar get along for that child to feel seen and loved. The hard work for us as parents is evaluate who our child is and cherishing her for being that person, even while guiding behaviour. Parents need to use a positive lens and celebrate every step in the right direction. One of the ways is to show affection th rough immediate words and physical touch. You will have no idea how a gentle cuddle, a little back upment, appreciation, approval or even a smile can go a long way to gain the confidence and thoroughly-being of your children. For instance, when you must correct a child, do it in love. It can avoid criticism and blaming. It is important to avoid using prejudicious vocabulary like bad because your child may internalize the label, intellection she is unacceptableinstead of just the behaviour.When you love your child wisely, she will gain vigor and love you back. When your child fail the test, analyse the reasons of failing the test with her, encourage her to try harder next time instead of scolding, blaming and hitting. Good parenting is much more than than just teaching your children right and wrong, good or bad. It is also just about respect. I am not talking about your children inevitably respecting you. It is about you having respect for them, particularly for their priva cy. Always bear in mind that children also have human right. Give them a chance to express their opinions, heed to their suggestions and give them some freedom. In fact, parents need to respect childrens privacy as you would want them to respect yours. For example, if you teach your child that your inhabit is out of boundaries to them, respect the same with their room. Allow to feel that once they enrol their room they can know that no one will tang through their drawers or read their diary.By respecting your children, they will be more open and respect you. As children hit adolescence they invariably bring to separate from their parents as a natural part of growing up. Ironically, it is also a time when parents have concerns about their son or daughters safety as they venture out more into the conception on their own. Undeniably, this is quite a difficult time for most parents. It is a time of change, a time of testing. On one hand you are foreclose because your child is no t as tight as they once were and you keep pushing and pushing to know more about what difference on in their flavour. You cannot be close, yet you need to be close to keep them safe. Balancing your desire to know all the details with your childrens right for privacy and the respect implied when you acknowledge that right, is a very cute feat to accomplish indeed. However, it is a balancing act that is well worth the effort, especially for those of you who want to be the best parents that you can be.Thus, parents need to bear in mind not to be nosy parents. Do not dig around your teenagers belongings. Never try to listen in conversations and avoid trying to keep children away from friends or activities out of spite to try to keep them safe. Of course as parents we have to be cautious and watchful but we must use common sense also and give them room to grow, the last thing we want to do is drive our children away from us. Remember what is like for a young son or girl to be enterin g that stage in life where new feelings and experiences are happening to them on a daily occurrence. On the other hands, goodparents must be flexible. Having standards does not mean you are rigid. As your child grows from infant to toddler to teen, her needs change along with her body. Kids Health reports that parents should not compare one child to another.Parents nowadays escape to compare their childrens behaviour or march on with other children of the same age. Indeed, they are causing stress for themselves and their children. Comparing your children with others is an ultimately useless performance I understand that it is hard to resist as we tend to appreciate our progress in any area of life by checking out how we compare with our peers. But come to think of it, when you were a child in school, you probably compared yourself to your schoolmates. Your teachers may not have graded you nut you knew who the shining kids were and were you ranked in the packing order. Now that you have kids of your own, do you until now keep an eye on your peers? Do you use progress and behaviour of their kids as benchmarks to help you assess your own performance as well as your childs progress? Children develop at divers(prenominal) judge. There are early developers, slow bloomers and steady-as-you-go children in every group. So, compare your childs results or performance can be completely unrealistic. What does this mean to you? Focus on your childs melioration and effort. Use your childs results as the benchmark for his or her progress and development.You can tell your child like thisYour spelling is better today than it was a few days ago instead of getting frustrated at them for not able to score as well as other children. Encourage them to take a step at a time they will grow up as a very well man one day. Parents, give your child some time. They need you in this take aiming pilgrimage. Besides, children have different talents, interests and strengths. Well, your eight years old child may not be able to ride a roll even though your neighbours child can. Avoid comparing the ii as your child may not care about bicycle anyway. At this point of time, you as a parent should help your child to identify his or her own talents or interests and help them to be exceled in it. Recognize that his or her strengths and interests may be completely different to those of his peers or siblings. Sometimes parents can have unrealistic expectations for their children. We all have hopes and dreams for our kids, but they may not be in line with their interests and talents. Thus, parents need to keep your expectations for success in line with their abilities and interests.If expectations are too high, kids willgive up. If they are too low, they will usually meet them Parents should take pride in their childrens performance at school, sport or leisure activities. You should also celebrate their achievements and milestones, such as taking their starting step s, scoring their first goal in a game or getting great marks at school. In addition, rules should shift to tick the age, needs and development of your children. For instant, you might expect a child of two to throw temper tantrum but not a teen. An effective parent takes cues from her child, whether an infants cry or a teenagers moods to know what will work best in a particular situation. So parents, stay tuned to your childs evolving needs by keeping involved in her life. Furthermore, parents need to teach emotional watchword to child. For instance, you teach your child to self-soothe. According to research, little ones do not learn to self-soothe by being left to cry. That just creates an over-active amygdala and panic chemical reaction later in life. While soothing is a physiological process.For instance, when a baby cries and we soothe him, his body responds by sending out oxytocin and other soothing biochemicals. What you see is that he calms down and later he develops the a bility to soothe himself when he is upset. Parents also can give them the gist that their full range of feelings is understandable, even while their actions must be limited. Upmost, parents need to listen to them when they have feelings to express. Occasionally this will take the form of words, and it helps to give children kind words for their feelings Youre so mad but more often, children just need us to give them the safety of our loving carriage while they cry or rage to vent their feelings. Often they will not be able to articulate what they are upset about, and it is not necessary. However, this helps children to learn to accept and process their emotions, so they can move one-time(prenominal) them rather than having to act on them. What does acting out mean? We act on our feelings rather than simply tolerating them as they sweep through us and dissipate. While you are teaching your child about emotional intelligence, you need to set as a good example too. If you are easily lose indurate, then you cannot blame of your children of throwing temper.They are learning from you Sometime your emotional unstableness will affect the development of your child. Never argue with your cooperator in front of the children. If they are sleeping, argue quietly. Modern divorce rates have children feeling insecure and fearfulwhen they hear parents bickering. Eventually, children will learn to argue with each other and become a hot tempered person. Show them that when people disagree, they can discuss their differences peacefully. Most of the children will get disappointed when their parents gave empty promise. There are so many cases whereby children do not even believe a single word that their parents said because the parents never put those promises in heart. Please imagine the feeling when psyche that you trust and admire most always gives you a false hope. How you need to react? All of you are adults so you may know how to deal with it but hold on, how about our little children? They can be so disappointed, helpless, frustrated and even fall into depression Some may even become rebellious as they thinking the parents are keep giving excuses of unable to fulfill the promises and never concern about their feelings. So, parents, you should do as what you have promisedLastly, every parent should accept the truth that everyone is not perfect. Dr. Sears also reminds parents that it is fine to be imperfect as long as you set a good example most of the time. You may did some mistake in bringing up your child. It is not an unforgiving mistake. Learn the lesson and prune to your child if it is necessary. All in all, in any case, even the most effective parents cannot genetic traits or the outside environment. Trust your instincts as parents but dont confuse effective parenting with perfection. Practice showing love and flexibility towards yourself, as well as towards your children. Before I end my speech, I would like to wish all the parents the bes t in this journey of parenthood. Thank you for listening.ReferencesDeborah Sendek. (2011). Physical Punishment Doesnt help, It Hurts. Retrieved from http//edition.cnn.com/2011/11/09/opinion/sendek-corporalpunishment/index.htmlDont Compare Your Kids to Others. Retrieved fromhttp//mums.bodyandsoul.com.au/pregnancy+parenting/parenting+tips/dont+compare+your+kids+to+others,9385Respecting and Giving Kids Their Privacy. Retrieved fromhttp//www.more4kids.info/632/respecting-kids-privacy/